Earth is ghetto8 billion roommates, zero security deposit1 in 3 households crushed by housing costsOne hospital bill from bankruptcyIncome inequality: above 0.40 and climbingLife expectancy: don't get too attachedAir quality: questionablePolitical polarization: surgingHomicide rates: location-dependentNow scoring 9 metrics — Gini coefficient addedRecommendation: do not move in

Earth Is
Ghetto. — A world map of how cooked every country got.

Earth is so ghetto, we decided to score and rank it. Tap any country to see receipts on pollution, billionaires, polarization, incarceration, housing, healthcare, life expectancy, homicide, and inequality. This isn't about poor countries — it's about powerful ones failing on purpose.

72 countries indexedsatire built on real data

Interactive world map and country stats

Country in focus

Denmark

Cooked Index
12
Score
Global Rank
70/72
70th Most Cooked
Pinned: Denmark
Cooked Index
chillcooked
Air pollution (PM2.5)
7.9
µg/m³
RANK 64 / 72
Annual mean PM2.5 in µg/m³. The smoke in the air you breathe.
Billionaires hoarded
8
RANK 35 / 72
How many billionaires the country hosts. A proxy for how much wealth gets stockpiled at the top.
Political polarization
35
/100
RANK 68 / 72
How hostile politics has gotten. Higher means citizens see each other as enemies.
Incarceration rate
73
/100k
RANK 58 / 72
People locked up per 100,000 residents.
Housing cost burden
23
% of households
RANK 52 / 72
Share of households spending more than 30% of income on housing. Captures real affordability after every other cost eats the budget — not just price-to-income.
Homicide rate
1.0
/100k
RANK 49 / 72
Intentional homicides per 100,000 residents. The body count, basically.

How to read this: every country gets a 0–100 score. Higher means more cooked. Lower isn't "richer" — it's "less self-inflicted damage."

The Hall of Shame

Top of the leaderboard is not a poverty ranking. It reflects how corruption, weak infrastructure, broken services, violence, inequality, and bad governance turn hardship into policy.

See the full ranking → Most Dangerous Countries

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It's not personal, it's spreadsheets.

The Cooked Index is a weighted blend of nine metrics chosen to highlight failures of power: air pollution, billionaire count, political polarization, incarceration, housing cost burden (households spending over 30% of income on shelter), catastrophic health spending (population one bill from ruin), life expectancy, homicide rate, and income inequality (Gini coefficient — above 40 signals a significant wealth gap). Sources include Forbes, IQAir, V-Dem, World Prison Brief, OECD, WHO, UN/WPP, UNODC and the World Bank.

Read the full methodology →